happiness is followed by great sorrow...and then you say, "screw it."
2004-02-10@1:49 p.m.
Ok so....sorry Robyn.
My emotions have been up and down all day. My day was going great until band, and most of you know what happened there. So then I find out some other things about other people that were upset but are ok now but I know bad feelings can come back just as easily as they subside.
So you know, my day is going OK in 5th period. I'm still thinkin about what's going on right now. I get out of 5th and come home. I read B.A.'s diary and I feel SO MUCh better!! Thank you Beth Ann. You really have saved my day.
I guess I'm just realizing that I can't please everyone, and they're not asking me to, I know. So now I'm not trying.
But you know what? As soon as I stopped trying to please others as much and started trying to get myself out of my depression, someone else goes psycho.
And It sucks because I know how they feel. I mean, I was just there. And I feel bad for feeling good while they feel bad but I can't help it. I'm not gonna put myself in a bad mood. And yes, I know they're not asking me to do that I'm just letting you all know that I'm not gonna droop around about this.
I'm happy and if what I do to get happy upsets someone else I am TRULY sorry for that. There's nothing I can say to comfort them. They can only find that for themselves. I just hope they keep a clear head and don't do anything stupid.
Anyway, no onto the non-depressing parts of my day.
1st period was awesome. I like it in there because Mrs. Cook is so cool and she lets us do our work, but talk at the same time. It's great!! Will really is one of my best friends. I don't who likes him or who doesn't.
2nd period was fun. Mrs. Leverette isn't as bad as everyone says she is, I promise things get better in AP. By next year you'll won't be so used to being pampered and you'll get better at working for her.
3rd period was fun. I like my friends in there, old and new.
4th period=drama begins
lunch was fun. Brady, Robyn, and Beth get me in a better mood...only for it to be shattered by what Brad told me at the end. Not your fault Brady, it had some hope in it.
5th was fun, as usual. I can't help but be in a good modd in that class. Everyone's so cool and so much fun, and Mr. Williams is the coolest teacher in the whole school, hands down.
Now I'm home and I wanna thank Beth Ann again for cheering me up. I'm glad we're getting to be friends, you're awesome and I'm glad you would consider it OK to die with me! =)
To all my Friendship friends (that sounds weird when you say it out loud), thank you guys so much for taking me into your church. Emmanuel just wasn't for me, and it had me thinkin that church in general wasn't for me. But you know what? You guys showed me that I just had to find the right church home. I hate that my parents go to Emmanuel and I got to Friendship, but you guys make taht OK. Thank you so much for just being you guys.
I miss Clark and Stuey during the weeks. I hope that doesn't sound gay, but it's true. They're two of my best friends and I miss hangin out with them. When we stayed in Starkville that weekend it was so much fun. We need to do it again soon.
Has this entry really gotten that long?
I hope my entry didn't depress/upset anyone. I'm cool now that I've gotten it all out and I'm happy again!
So I'll see everyone tomorrow at school.
L8er dudes.
-Jacob