The Fear
2003-01-26@1:55 p.m.
okay, so what's up you guys?
how have your weekends gone? mine has gone......so-so.....i dunno what kind of category to place it in.
i've had tons of fun. friday we ate at shoney's and then watched some of "the bourne identity" at david's. that was okay, but we all eventually got restless and just started talking about all kinds of things. our conversations ranged from "slow" bands and "slow" football teams to dinosuars. we even dared to venture into that wonderful realm of religious discussion. that's where our converations took the sharpest turns of the night. many different views were expressed, and my temper flared a few times (big suprise there!!). i think i did fairly well of holding myself back and i hled my tounge quite a few times when i felt i should have lashed out, but i didn't. only one time did i even show a glimpse of anger. the entire room just stopped when i did. we all just looked at each other for a little while before anything else was said. i didn't fully lose it though, so ya'know, it's okay.
last night we went bowling in greenwood. first game, i came in third with david in last. second game i cam in third with austin in last. the third game followed in the same manner. david scored 132 in the second game, not too shabby. my highest score in all three games was 76...maybe....something like that. i was proud considering it was my first time ever picking up a bowling ball. after bowling we went to pizza inn to eat. that was fun. ashley made me some rings (that i still have on). our waitress was a little off-beat, but we still tipped her good. i feel that the only time someone doesn't deserve a tip is if they totally screw something up or are totally rude. any other time they deserve a tip just fng there. i know what they feel like working in a food place where you have to put up with all kinds of rude-ass customers. anyone else who works in a restaurant of any kind will agree with me on that one.
well let's see. i know you all know about me and mary by now, and for those of you who don't, let me to tell you now.
we are no more.
i guess that's all i really have to say about that. will we be friends? still undecided. i feel betrayed and iwas kept in the dark about some things. two of the three things that set me over the edge were done to me. so what can i really say other than only time will tell what happens and how everything goes. however, from here it doesn't look the greatest.
i've been listening to my TRUSTcompany cd a lot this past week. it's what i'm listening to right now. it's arelly an awesome cd and anyone who doesn't have it needs to get a copy of it whenever you can. i'm gonna post three songs from it on here. two pertain to one person, and the last one pertains to another person. names will remain unsaid, but the person that the first two are twoards is obvious.
-tripp
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"falling apart"
I slipped away
Further from you
Trying to find what is real
You're somebody else
The I never knew
And someone that I can't feel
I shove it away
I keep it in me
Is this what it takes
To keep me alive
You take me
You break me
You see I'm falling apart
Complicate me
Forsake me
You push me out so far
There's no more feeling
I slipped away
Closer to me
The only thing that is real
I'm falling behind
But now I can see
your absence helps me heal
I push you away
I keep you from me
Is this what it takes
To keep me alive
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"finally"
So it's over now (finally)
I'm beneath
And I'm crawling out
On my knees
I can hear what you said
Echoing in my head
I'm losing ... myself
Now I'm cold on the floor
And I don't care anymore
Cause it's over ... it's over
I can feel
Like it's real
Now I can finally feel
So I guess it's over now
And you broke me down somehow
Now I'm faltering
I can see - I can be
I can leave and shut you out
So I'm leaving now (somehow)
Underneath
As I slowly drown
Finally
I can hear what you said
Echoing in my head
I'm losing ... myself
I'm shaking deep inside
I'm having trouble breathing
I need somewhere to hide
Away cause I'm healing
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now to the not so obvious person's dedication.......
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"the fear"
Standing here
I'm cold inside with fear
& I can't feel my soul
take me in
I'm yours again
For awhile - just like the last time
Lead me from the fear
And I won't leave you here
There's a way out
There's a way out
There's a way from here ... believe
I feel weak
I'm slowly losing touch
With what is left in me
Take me in
I'm yours again
For awhile - julst like the first time
I need you
To keep me here
I'm starting over again